Lack of sound and Lack of color.

What's the destiny of those who love
in sound frequencies that are long gone?
Like the strum of a guitar in front of a smiling face
through a romantic verse as its saving grace.

What about lying in a rooftop sharing dreams?
Making life to be more than it really seems.
The silly promises that hit like a drug
spike our emotions and end on a hug.

Where is the rush of energy where silence dies?
The dawn of possibilities that everything defies.
Expectations, passion, sheer affection and desire
that made it so nothing was ever dire.

Was all that a dream? A jest? A phase?
A cruel joke just stuffed in my face?
Did I tailored my soul for it to turn into mist
searching for a light that no longer exists?

Uncontrolled Substances

Hello, my name doesn't matter,

but I'm also addicted to attention.

A caring thought, a dopamine rush

and I'm on my way to salvation.

The problem begins when junkie old me

gets cold turkey on a chilly afternoon.

Skies turn ashen and my heartbeat fades

while my senses start feeling marooned.

I know it's a problem and believe me I try

to keep things calm in my zone.

Then logic comes and screws things up

and my self esteem leaves me alone.

I know I shouldn't crave a smile and nice words,

but who would reject a sweet respite?

It's so warm and comforting to feel like I matter

before going to sleep at night. 

Then waking up feeling like a king

with enough energy to take on the world.

Feeling motivation to create a million things

where positive feelings unfold.

Then what to do if not struggle against

this deep strong affliction of mine

and describe with words what I feel tonight

while me and my addiction untwine. 

Throwback into feelings

Slumped in my chair, a mix of joy and fears

I lie in stupor after a one volatile high.

For an instant I felt like I haven't in years

without any reason and with no one in sight.

I am not charmed, not even in love,

yet for a second I felt no bitter bother.

It was not about lust, but feeling high above

like when you spend time with a significant other.

In my so short ecstasy of pristine feelings

I traveled to my past, saw myself as I used to be

I felt the rush of energy, a slight sliver of healing

and the sight of a mind's eye that could no longer see.

Now I am here again, hungover like before,

trying to retrace my steps to that moment in time.

Curious like a child who found a place to explore,

but tired as an adult who had just committed a crime.

I have no idea if this miracle will ever return.

I just know that it felt sweet while it was in sight.

A piece of my past self that proudly dared to burn

and warm my passage through this endless night.


This is for all of you who had been living lives that are a little distant from romance and relationships (mostly because of the things you been through and trust issues), but for a split second you feel just like you used to feel back when you trusted easily and were full of illusion for no apparent reason. 

Modern loathing in words

I really hate how modernity just screwed it.
with its lack of color and sterile scent,
compared to times where limitations were hated
and rules were made to be bent.

I do not talk with the mind of a teen
but of an adult who kept a sharp mind,
refused to be bound, kept his senses keen
and became an outcast, few of a kind.

Whatever happened to diversity
and to people with a thick skin?
Now everything became a damn insult
and any verb a mortal sin.

People giving up and making excuses,
falling down like soulless dolls.
Accepting a half-life without any uses,
complying to a system that makes them dull.

Some people call this to become mature,
I call those claims a waste of breath.
Because letting our freedoms to be obscured
is the quickest path to our inner death.

Screaming my way through the crowd

I scream out loud because I stopped caring.
Replaced the word "proper" with the phrase "what I need".
Limits vanishing and desires glaring
Of a different me at a different speed.

I am now an enemy of petty expectation
more of an ordered chaos, of a convenient dimension
preacher of freedom, warlock of perception
and bard of distant and sweet anticipation.

My anthem is the one of the eternally broken,
mind in bliss, remembering ended seasons.
My language is the words that don't need to be spoken.
In a world with no regrets and no use for reasons.

Hard to understand, but voluntarily apathetic
to the ones who claim that I walk in mistake.
this is not meant to be correct or even aesthetic,
this is just a human who a new way tries to make.

So I am not going to apologize or conform.
Not going to stand down or cheaply comply,
for selling ourselves short and becoming the norm
is the quickest and most pathetic way to die.